just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
