he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
