He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
