32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
