dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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