I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
