Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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