I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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