Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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