Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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