forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
