Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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