I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
