she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
