My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
