He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
