if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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