Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
