heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
