my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
