I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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