I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
