guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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