I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
