At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just cropdusted the office
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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