hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we made out on top of his cat.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
