dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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