I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
