I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
