Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
