okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
