So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you win again, gameday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
