you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
