I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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