dude i'm inner monologue high
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
