It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
