got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
