Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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