I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
