so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
