atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
