And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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