i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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