I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is wine microwaveable?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
