i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
