Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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