I cockslap morals
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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