sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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