I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
