When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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