Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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